I want to give a big salute to all my single girls out there; the ones who go to the gym, read a book, do DIYs, or have their side hustles and OWN being single! I’m not going to lie of course being single has its downs too, especially as you get older and see all the engagement photos on social media. What I have learned in the past little while after coming out of a four year relationship is how refreshing it is to focus on you and give that self love which we often forget! After giving some time to myself to enjoy the single life, I decided to join the online dating world. I decided to join Bumble as I liked the idea of not receiving messages after messages but placing in the control in my hands. After many different first dates (awkward, exciting, fun, terrible, boring) I still never gave up and instead learned from each date. I started to notice what’s really important to me before meeting someone in person. So I thought I would share my top 5 tips for online dating! Now of course these are just my opinion and what works for me may not work for you, but take these tips as advice rather than things you should be doing!
1. Be open minded: We all have our own taste and know what we are attracted to. However, personality is what’s going to win you over. So if you really like someone’s profile and think you two will be a good match, why not give them a chance? Not saying you need to go on a date with them right away, but talk to them and see how the conversation goes! Sometimes the most unexpected people are the ones that we end up connecting with!
2. Get to know them: This relates back to the first point, just because you’re attracted to someone does not necessarily mean you guys will connected on an emotional level. Take your time and get to know them. I usually prefer to text someone for a week or so before committing to a date. This allows me to see what they are like texting on a day to day basis and let’s be real they need to have a solid meme/GIF game haha. Communication is very important to me and if the person takes 7-8 hours between every text can also be a sign of what they will be like in the future. However I could definitely be wrong as some people aren’t into texting and prefer phone calls, so also be open minded about that before coming to a conclusion.
3. Coffee Dates: There’s not thing worse than a long awkward-boring dinner date. I don’t know about you, but I often get nervous before first dates and don’t end up eating much (also because awkward silence scares me haha).That why, I really enjoy coffee dates, they don’t have to be long and it sets a casual vibe of getting to know someone. The casual setting also helps the nerves as you can sip on coffee/tea and even grab something small to eat. You can always let your date know ahead of time you have another commitment afterwards (as a way of ending the date early if needed). It also nice to suggest going for a walk if the weather is nice!
4. Don’t make online dating your main focus: Focus on YOU and let that be a side thing. The more you focus on finding and swiping, the more disappointed you’ll become. I used to set aside 10-15 minutes each night before bed to do the swiping and once I got home I timed myself again 10-15 minutes to message back/swipe more. If I was interested in someone and the conversation was flowing I would let them know that I prefer to text rather than going back and forth on the app. This way I wasn’t sitting there swiping for hours and focusing on whether a guy is going to message me back or not. This strategy also allowed me to be open to meeting people outside of the app as well.
5. Be honest and know what you want: Imagine you’re on this amazing date, everything is going well and he tells you he really enjoyed the date and wants to see you again. You continue to text and see him only to find out he wants something more casual. Then in your mind you want to convince yourself you’re okay with that or maybe he will change his mind. Here is the real truth: he WONT change his mind! So unless you are ALSO okay with having something casual you need to be honest with yourself and move on. This will allow others who want the same thing as you to come into your life. This also works vice versa, if you want something casual but the other person is looking for a relationship. Try and be honest in the beginning so you can skip the whole “ghosting” part.
Those are just some simple tips that really helped me handle online dating and yessss.. I met my current boyfriend through it! We went for a casual coffee date and he was going to help me fix up my website. I wasn’t nervous and thought it was so nice that we weren’t sitting there “interviewing” each other but getting to know one another through an activity.We also bonded over having side hustles (BONUS!).
However, as always these are just my opinion and you should follow whatever your heart desires!
Whats your one dating advice? Let me know in the comment below!
Always Remember: It’s not about brand, it’s about style!